eccentric

“I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment", even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call it a "speech improvement", and I go up to the guy and say, "Hey, Bob, I like your speech improvement." I think this makes him feel better.” -Jack Handy

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“Her socks don’t match? Yep, she’s got ADD.”

That was all it took to get me a “diagnosis” for ADD when I was in high school. So you understand why for years I’ve scoffed even at the reality of such a thing as “Attention Deficit Disorder”. It can’t possibly be a real thing if the doctor can diagnose you with it because your socks don’t match. Honestly.

But lately I’ve been really struggling with the demands of a family full of small children, a house that constantly needs tedious work, and my own life that needs attention and growth. So just for a kick, last night I looked up "Adult ADD", and had to laugh out loud at the list of symptoms. The article said if you have 75% of these symptoms, you probably have ADD. I had closer to 100%. The list of symptoms runs something like this:

*frequently loses track of time, misplaces items, and forgets things
*gets sidetracked so much that the sidetracks start to look like the main track
*has tons of ideas, each of which is the best idea anybody’s ever thought of, and must start now and get each one done before she forgets said great idea
*has difficulty organizing time, thoughts, relationships, life…
*starts to stutter when there’s an interesting show on NPR, dinner cooking, people talking, and a baby crawling up her leg.

And the big one…

*can’t ever remember the location of the car keys

There’s a whole school of people who think that ADD is a product of our times. They maintain that it’s a product of broken families, stressed out kids, poor nutrition, and any of the host of ills that modern life brings. But if that’s so, how do you explain people like Albert Einstein, who was undeniably brilliant, but had trouble in school and personal life? Thomas Edison, who was essentially thrown out of school after being there three months? Beethoven and Mozart? There was still a word for these people then. Just because they hadn’t come up with “ADD” yet didn’t mean they didn’t have a label for people like this.

Eccentric.

There have always been eccentric people. I just submit that “ADD” and “eccentric” are often the same thing. But here’s my question. Why do we need to call it a disorder? As we see from famous examples of “eccentric” people, the condition often comes with a hefty dose of brilliance. If it’s always been around, and affects lots of people, then I suggest we rename it. I say we quit calling it a “disorder” and start calling it an “improvement”. I think we should say “Improved Personality Type”, and accept it as just a kind of being. Because terminology is powerful. The more we keep saying “disorder” the more you (and I) believe it.

So. Pity and medications for a “disorder” are out. Accepting social structure is in. You have IPT? Oh, I’m so jealous! You can go to IPT school with all the other really smart IPT kids. We look forward to great things from you.

So see, we’re not that bad after all. Or at least, bad like Beethoven and Edison. I actually have a couple of great ideas right now I think I’ll go accomplish.

If I could just find my car keys.